Socialising On the Modern Net
I believe that I have given up on the net as a valuable space when it comes to group-based social interactions. Now and then the urge to try returns, but it always ends the same way.
Talking to your friends on the computer is (or was) a lot of fun. It can still be fun, at times. Although, I think it is quite easy to take things too far.
Public/larger group spaces foster an environment where an infinite amount of arguments for argument’s sake can take place, people become way ruder than they would be face-to-face, rampant cliques form - all encouraged with people being extremely conflict averse/avoidant if anything ever arises, or someone mentions having an issue with something. The worst thing you can do is have an issue with something.
I've found myself becoming worse as a sort of defence mechanism. Ruder, less generous, bitter and lashing out. Of course, that is not anyone else's fault but my own. It's up to me to notice that and do something about it rather than letting it stew, which I suppose putting this out here is a part of.
I've had this feeling for a while, and I've explicitly talked about it in some previous blog posts, but I'm not sure the idea of socialising on the modern net is even worth it present day. By and large I find one-on-one conversations fine, maybe a small voice chat?
I can't help but feel these larger group settings are like a distraction than anything.
From what's actually important and right in front of you in life.
Do you know what I mean?
Have you felt it too?
It is incredibly easy to spend an endless amount of time talking through text or in a voice call and feel like you spent your time wisely, even if you did absolutely nothing all day. Or even worse, avoided doing things whilst doing it. There's certainly a fine balance that can be struck, I think I'm just very bad at it.
I'm also just getting too old to be having these conversations/arguments over the fucking net. I just cannot keep walking on eggshells around people I'll never see a day in person. Which, I suppose, is the crux of it all. I will never meet anyone I speak to from the computer, unless there is a significance in our relationship beyond being acquaintances online.
Does that make relationships on the computer less important? I wouldn't say entirely, but there's certainly fewer bonds tying you down compared to people you cannot avoid in real life.
I'm not even sure what I want from the modern net any more. Deep down, I still visualise it as the net of my childhood and the warmth that brings, but that version of the net is gone for good. Or maybe, it's that I want it to be like that still, and I'm clinging on looking for anything good.
There is an occasional light in the dark, and I feel that warmth. But, it is few and far between. It may be time to let go of that past and just see the modern net for what it is, rather than hoping/wishing it could be any different.